Anticipatory Hypothesis

The last day of summer is worse than the first day of school. The last day of being single is worse than the first day of marriage. That is a bad example. I know many would argue that of course it is worse because you want to be with your beloved. I would argue that it is worse because well I wouldn't argue that. I hate marriage and think that every day spent single is a better one. I am not anti relationship, I am anti-marriage. The last day of being nine, is worse than the day after your birthday when you morbidly dwell on the fact that you will double digits until the day you die...probably. Is anticipation always worse than the actual event? Does death fall in this category? I hope so. Now the first time you have sex better not fall into this category for so many reasons. I sadly cannot tell you. Well it's not devastating...but anyway. It should not fall into this category for so many reasons. 1) Sex shouldn't be bad at all 2) and if it is, by God! it had better not be worse than the wait. So maybe this hypothesis should be changed to: Is anticipation more taxing than the actual event? Taxing is good. It just describes a draining of will or effort or strength. I like taxing. Devirginization should definitely fall into this category. Well sex can be taxing I guess, but that has kind of negative connotation. Now I expect it to take effort and strength can't be a bad thing to have and if you went at it all night I think it could definitely be taxing. But not in the negative way. Sorry. I did not mean for this to be a sex ramble. It was supposed to philosophical, but I guess not. So yes....after all this rambling. Anticipation is more taxing than the actual event. Definitely. I hope. God!

Haphazard

I haven't said anything for a while. I had an inkling that it would be that way once school started. I promise I will not desert you completely. We shall see what happens. Life has continued on in very much the same pattern. I hate school, am considering going to France next year to make my own adventures and stop trying to leach the life out of characters in a book, My parent's marriage is slowly but surely deteriorating, I have as little faith as ever that I will ever be capable of love...and yeah. I should be doing homework right now. So I will go to that.

Last Day of Freedom

Ahh! As much as I have hated this summer in a lot of ways, I am sad to see it go. I am looking forward to school and burying myself in the massive piles of work I am going to be receiving that way I have a legit excuse to ignore my mother. I am looking forward to simply having something to do with my days even if it means conforming to the last form of forced slavery. Nah, I jest. School's not that bad. I am going to miss the freedom of doing whatever I want all day. That is nice, I will not lie. But as the saying goes, "All good things must come to an end." I really hope that some out there do not, but for now the summer of 2008 falls into that category. Now a moment of silence out of respect for this fallen summer. Like so many of its predecessors it fought valiantly for life and in the same manner lost to the undefeatable forces of fall.

Reality

I have realized the reason i get so obsessed with books is that I so desperately want to be like those people in the books. I want to be special. I want to be different; to have adventure in my life. I can deal with this. Its just hard to want something you can't have: magic.

^!~-----^!~------^!~------^!~-----------------------------------------

So my parents actually are getting divorced. I'm not all weepy and yelling and all that crap. I'm actually feeling fine. I don't know why. I feel as if nothing's changed. Yeah...

Hmph

I finished Breaking Dawn and I am slightly depressed. I just get so caught up in some stories that I find myself forgetting that immortality is not an option and that happiness like that just doesn't exist. I know that that sounds morbib but, I don't know...I guess it's true. I just feel like nothing in my life is really going to work out the way I want it to and I'm going to have to settle into things that I don't want. I am sure this shitty mood will pass. I am waiting.

Premier D'Août

La femme fut créée
d'une côte de l'homme.
Pas de sa tête pour
être au-dessus de lui,
Ni de ses pieds
pour être piétiné,
Mais d'une de ces côtes
pour être son égal,
Sous son bras
pour être protégé,
Et près de son coeur
pour être aimé.

I found this on another blog and after doing a tish bit of translating to make sure that I agreed with most of it, I decided to post it. I still maintain that I am smarter than many men that I meet and that I do not need constant protection. But the idea is there. It means well. Here to save you the trouble I will translate.

The woman was created
Of the rib of a man.
Not of his head to
be above him,
Nor of his feet
to be trampled,
But of his ribs
To be his equal,
Under his arms
To be protected,
And near his heart,
To be loved.