Lesson

So this is a long story. Here goes. Araura likes this guy. He seemed like a really nice guy. He might still be. He recently felt her up while in a polar bear suit. I'm not kidding. I couldn't make that shit up. She loves my mom and respects her a ton. She hates her own. My mom has been gone a lot as you know. And I really hate her. I don't know why. We've already covered this. I told my mom and she listened and she cared. I told Araura that I told my mom, she badly wanted to know what my mom had said. I got really annoyed because she loves my mom and I know for a fact that she's not that great. And she is constantly making a huge deal about this guy over little things and I don't do that. It's just a difference I don't beg my friends for advice with guy stuff. I advise myself. I shouldn't punish her just because we are different. I couldn't deal with all the gawking over this guy anymore. I promised that I would call her the next day and tell her what my mom had said even though she didn't say anything important, dole out any wisdom, or say anything that I already hadn't. The next day I didn't call her. I got distracted. She got mad and then I started thinking about the reason that I didn't want to talk to her about. The above reasons. I didn't talk to her all weekend. I didn't talk to her monday or tuesday. I was thinking about it. I was thinking about what to say. I couldn't bring myself to say something. She and I finally talked today. I had a thing all planned out. I gave about half of my thing, the half I could remember. Then she told me something that I had never understood before. Before I tell you what she said I will preface it. I am an only child. I am a vain, prideful, and slightly arrogant person who puts themself first most of the time. I love my friends but I do not make an extra effort to reach out to them. She said, "I'm not mad that you didn't call. I mad that I didn't matter enough for you to call. You didn't care enough." We said a lot more, but a while later she said, "You don't get that your decisions affect other people. Just a text to someone to say 'Hey what's up?' or just a call even though you're not a phone person: It matters. It might make someone's day. Your actions affect your friends in ways that you don't know." I know that this all sounds so simple, but I got this concept in a way I never had before. I do care about my friends but I put myself first. I really do. But I have a lifetime to spend with myself. She said, "If our parents died tonight what would you do? Could you survive?" I would be able to. But she has a little brother to take care of. She still could. My mother had told me this many times but I didn't listen until Araura said it and I'm paraphrasing, "Relationships are important, they matter the most and they are very important part of being an adult." I told her that, "...honestly, I never thought, out of the two of us, I would be the one to know less about how the hell the world works." But she proved me wrong. She is not just a naive little girl who doesn't have a clue about relationships. She had tried to tell me this before but I didn't get it and I blew her off saying, "You are not the center of my universe! Get over it!" And I always felt guilty deep down inside. I didn't know why at the time. Now I know. Because I knew she was right. I didn't care enough. I didn't stop to think about those outside my universe, which I will be honest, will still revolve around me, but will pay so much more attention to what goes on outside of it. Just because you are the center doesn't mean you are everything. What is a center if there is nothing around it? Exactly. Nothing. I finally get it. No matter what take care of the people in your life. Stop being impatient to be heard. Listen to them, they will listen in return. My mother always told me "What you put into a relationship you get out of it." I never listened to her because she's being hypocritical, but in many other cases it's true. I will owe Araura for the rest of my life.