Remarkable, Extraordinary, Amazing

So when i was little, I knew I would be famous some day. I would work on films. II would be an amazing actress. It wasn't a want it was a knowledge. I gave this up a few years ago and tried to convince myself that I would be happier on Broadway. I am still slightly convinced of this. Just recently, and I mean in the past couple days this desire or knowledge has come back to me. Now I am old enough to realize that the chance of me accomplishing this is very slim. I've been trying to pinpoint what it was about being famous that was such a complusion for me. It wasn't the attention or recognition, although, of course, both of those would be nice. Part of it was getting extremely well paid for doing what you love best. A large part of it was the approval. I am an approval whore, approval, acceptance you know. I thrive on it. It's not healthy. I know. Besides these things, which i was pretty sure that I already knew, there was something else. I couldn't put my finger on it.

I recently have been trying to have some relationship epiphanies. You know, trying to figure out what I want. I want someone who leaves me wanting more. Someone with a spark. You know, the kind of thing where they drive you insane and you kind of want to kill them half the time and jump their bones the other? The Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy thing.

Well anyway, I was reading a book that belongs to my one of my favorite series. There is an "epic love" in it with immortatlity and...the works. I thought, "I would give up anything to have a love like that."

Anything? My logical side asked.

Yes, Anything.

I would give up the fame the everything.

Why? both my sides asked at the same time.

It hit me.

It wasn't just fame.

It was a desire to beat all other desires.

To be remarkable.

Extraordinary.

Amazing.

Unfortunately, I added a fear to my resume.

Of being normal.

It terrifies me.

I have to be remarkable.

I tried to find a picture that would make this little entry more interesting. Prettier, I guess. Something that would convey my feelings. Sorry, this is the best I could come up with.

I googled the three exemplary adjectives in the order mentioned. I finally found something slightly acceptable (the above) on amazing.